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I finally got a grip on my life and am feeling better about everything these days.  getting rid of the boy was hard but has been good for me.  sadly, he was really sucking the life and faith right out of me, of course, because i was allowing it to happen.  i emailed him and told him he didn't owe me anything and that I wish him well.  and i am trying to mean it, every day.  i have been reading a lot, exercising, praying, etc.

life is much too short to waste any of it unnecessarily, especially when i am geographically where i want to be after all of these years and seeminlgy healthy and gainfully employed, etc etc etc.

i am getting ready to take a bike ride and enjoy the outdoors.

thanks for all the love.

Apr. 26th, 2007

Lately I have been exhausted and emotional, a mix of happy and sad, and I feel like writing.  I don't seem to have time to really get anything done.  I just keep carrying around all the things I want to do.

The Virginia Tech tragedy really got to me.  I heard while driving around doing sales calls...and the lady on the radio announced it like a new brand of peanut butter had been introduced.  Weird. Terrible.  It was in passing, "this just in..details to follow."
I saw the list of victims I think the next day, for the first time on a television in an Elementary school...and I could not stop the tears. I went to the Bluebird Cafe that night, and I was crying from deep down inside.  People probably thought I was crazy.  I couldn't help it.  For some reason, this hit me hard.  I just sat there and thought about how we're all sitting around listening to songwriters sing about everyday life...songs about mundane activities made memorable by the people they were with.  And it broke my heart.  We always think there's more of that to come with the people we love...and all those families would never have those moments again.  But our lives go on.   And it could happen anywhere and affect any of us.

I got to come home a day early this week, and quite honestly, I don't know if I would have made it if fate hadn't intervened.  I'm physically tired.

I was in a classroom this week, and a little boy asked to go to the bathroom, and the teacher made some terrible sarcastic comment like, "No, (boys name) you have to pee in your pants."  When I looked over and gave him a smile, with as much silent sympathy as I could show when he came back, he had tears welled up.  I would have too.  That is so wrong.  And everyone heard it.  And no one cares?

I saw kids hit each other. 
A boy tell a girl it was stupid that she had on a jacket. 
Kids crying.

I also saw sweet children, smart children, kind teachers, good stuff.

I would take some of these kids home with me, for real.

The world is crazy.   And I'm glad I'm not a kid.  And I'm glad I grew up in a family with good values, despite the dysfunction.   And for my mom.  Could I just say that again?  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY MOM.  and her parents,  my grandparents.   They are still my point of reference.

It probably seems hypocrital or bipolar how I am happy and sad, but maybe that's just how it is.  The sun shines; the rain pours.   But I always know the sun will be back.

The irises are blooming.  I have a bike and can ride it right out of the driveway.  I have 2 parties and a bbq invite this weekend.  I am going to Matt Wertz and Jon McLaughlin tonight!!! 

And the Nashville marathon runs right by our house Saturday morning.



Hotel Rwanda

Just watched this for the first time yesterday.
Everyone should watch this film.

hotel schmotel

So, after a decent night's stay in a hotel chain last night, this morning took a turn for the worst.
I was gathering my toiletries as I was getting ready to take a shower, and the maid came in.  Yikes!
So, I quickly shut the bathroom door, to discover a pair of men's underwear lurking on the bathroom floor.

So, here's the thing:  I know other people stay in hotel rooms, but I don't want to think about it.
And I definitely don't want to be faced with evidence of any sort.
Be it candy wrappers behind the bedside table when I go to look for an electrical outlet 
Hair of any sort in any location
Or faint lingerings of cologne on the phone (a top on the list for disgusting to me), which I rarely use anyway because I'm a germaphobe. 

I don't really like to touch remote controls, and I don't go barefoot.
But I mean, really.
When it comes to the---it's all how you look at it idea, there is no good way around looking at some unknown's worn underwear on your floor.

So, I went on a trip and used hotel mouthwash.
It was green.
It was cinnamon.
That's weird.


we drove around

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